My Church family has experienced three major losses of amazing young men in the last four months. There are no words to make everything all better after a son, a brother, or a father, has died; however, there are words that can confuse and make the hurt worse. Well-meaning people often spout unsound theological quips to try and put a band-aid on an amputee. I’m not mad, but I need to say a few things – some things I do not believe. These young men did not earn their wings. They didn’t need wings and God did not need another angel. God did not need your loved one more than you did. God did not make these tragedies or even want these tragedies to happen in order to bring about some greater good. Yes, God promises to work good out of tragic circumstances (Romans 8:28). You would do well to memorize that. But God didn’t need your loved one to die in order to do that. God is able. God’s plan does not include young men dying in their teens, twenties, and thirties. Why do I believe that?

Jesus taught us to pray, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth.” Jesus didn’t call us to this prayer because God’s kingdom is already reigning or because God’s will is already happening. Jesus called us to this prayer precisely because God’s will is not happening on earth right now! The role of the church is to advance God’s will for righteousness, peace, and joy in the Spirit on this earth. That is how the Bible defines the Kingdom of God (Romans 14:17). But right now, as we work for good, God’s will is being done only in waves as believers move out in the power of the Spirit. The suicides, the accidental deaths, the unexplainable passings – those are not God’s will. God loves us and came to give us life, not to take it.

I suppose some find comfort in believing that God has a big plan and, even though it makes us suffer, it will be better in the long run. That does not comfort me. Frankly, it a sounds rather sadistic. Nor does that theology line up with my understanding of who God is. God does have a big plan, but it involves life and resurrection. It isn’t that we will never suffer. We will suffer and experience loss because we live in a fallen world and we are less than perfect people. But I do not believe God inflicts suffering. God grieves with us in our suffering just as Jesus grieved at the death of his friend Lazarus. Jesus wept when Lazarus died too early because Jesus had come to give abundant Life. To that loss, Jesus responded with a resurrection (John 11). Today we weep for our losses and God provides resurrection. 

So what can I say about God and loss? God is with us. God grieves with us. God brings life and resurrection into our loss. What should we do then? We should pray thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth. We should work for righteousness, peace, and joy for all people. We should look for resurrection. And we should know that any loss worth regaining will be restored. Resurrection Sunday is on the way. We celebrate it every Sunday at The Connection*. This isn’t a shameless plug for our church, it is a desperate plea for you to plug into the God of resurrection and life now, so that in losses or gains, you will have hope, you will have a family of faith to walk with you, and you will find God’s will for righteousness, peace, and joy at work in your life.

*UPDATE: I now Pastor First United Methodist Church in Festus/Crystal City. Information on The Connection is found at http://www.theconnectionstlouis.com.